Lets make this crime last forever

I like to call my butt Skrillex….Because sometimes it drops the beat


How to use the jew powers like Jewk Skywalker

ATTENTION HUMANS

The olde days of yore are still applicable when it comes to bartering

Customer service is entirely set up to make you happy

If you have any reason don’t be afraid to voice it

These services are designed to ensure your business transaction makes you feel warm and gooey inside

Remember you have the power

The more you Jew

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*



Next level shit



ATTENTION HUMANS GIRL TALK LIVE AT COACHELLA

This guy right here is my fav dj by far

Mixing classic rock and indie with the raps of the old and new school

A feast for the ears

Click and enjoy



I paused my vid randomly at this time and this expression is so perfect

Like when guys talk about their cars or when girls talk about how many pairs of shoes they own or like when religious fanatics try to explain why their religion is better than yours

Thank you random event and Louis C.K.


So I did this tumblo social experiment yesterday. Where I sent the phrase ‘You look like a robot’ to the first few girls that were in my scroll. I assumed they would be confused and inquire as to what the hell I meant by that. To which I would then reply ‘I want to do you on the dance floor ;)’ Thus turning their confusion into amusement at the cheesy pick up line. Just a random act of humor for some unsuspecting humans.

Here are the results

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This was perfect. She went from shrugging it off comically to responding with the intention I had in mind back. Best result.

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She responded privately to the punch line but also showed amusement after the initial bewilderment. Another best result possible.

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This one was just confused but had a funny response. I don’t even know if she saw the punch line.

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This is what I had assumed would be the typical response. I’m not sure if she saw the second part either.

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This time she merely questioned it. But was relieved to find out it was all in good fun. Even so though on first read her initial reaction was insult. Luckily she had the composure to handle it and try to understand it, before jumping to conclusion.

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This girl however was instantly enraged. She didn’t even respond to the second part at all. She may have even blocked me entirely. Perhaps someone has called her body down whilst comparing it to a robot in the past. Either way I certainly didn’t mean it that way. For the record, I think her body is great as is and she doesn’t need to change a thing.

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This one seemed to be taking it alright. Though I should have known by the punctuation she was heated.

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Then I guess some anon said this and she was still fine on the surface, just shrugging it off. That rabbit user was on the right track but the other guy was getting mad. Auto-assuming that it was me who asked the q with anon on. I’ve never sent an anon message in my life. I have nothing to hide.

Then she posted this. Obviously my comment had been stewing within her and she decided to exact some digital justice by going on the offensive. I want to assure you all though at no point was my butt ever hurt. It’s true I don’t follow her. I used to but the nice thing about this is you get to choose what content you see. Some of her self-harm and anti-esteem posts just aren’t my cup of tea. So I unfollowed. I don’t think anybody she be as hard on themselves as she is on herself. Note the same follower in the notes voicing the classic ‘u mad’ opinion.

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And then finally another anon said this. Releasing how she really felt about it. Obviously she gets a lot of anons hating on her, so it makes sense that she would be auto-defensive.

Conclusion:

Regardless of the test constraints I am sorry that it played out like that for those two. But that is the risk you take when you take risks. I’m really surprised and annoyed at how quickly it escalated though. Our whole society has women running in circles to ensure their bodies meet with all these media made ideals of how they should look/act. The world shouldn’t get to tell you how to act or what you should look like. You should decide that for yourself. I think it’s great to see people that have that mentality and I hope one day all of us do. But until then I’ll keep doing things like this and maybe one day I’ll change someones opinion for the better.

p.s. That last girl and I talked it out and we’re now an item, funny how life works.

p.p.s. That’s not true, but if this was a movie that’s how this post would have ended.



Great tune if you need to clean or have a dance party




Look how asshole this asshole parked

He had like 3 tickets though

I doubt asshole learned his lesson

Really wanted to draw a dick on his windshield with my sharpie

Big hairy vein’y one too



The youth of today are so gangster

(No but seriously look how pale white that human boy is)



This is an ad in my elevator

I had no idea we were so close

Thank you Jackie Chan

Without your invaluable information I would have never known

(p.s. when I first saw this I thought Jackie Chan was insinuating I had a small penis)

((p.p.s. I may or may not have scowled at the next chinese person I saw cos of that))

(((p.p.p.s. Is Jackie Chan even chinese….I am so racist…….I don’t know my different kinds of chopsticks OKAY)))

Don’t judge me



LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR

(This was an actual article that was posted on someones door at a jobsite)

(((I really wish I was at that photo shoot)))



If you ever wondered what a first date might be like with me

It would be something like this

An abandoned hide-a-bed near a water reservoir

We would stare into each others eyes and try not to inhale with our noses cos smells

But look how close the trash can is

That shows I care about the environment

Plus it is wet so I would suggest you take your top off and put it down so we both do not get our butts wet as we lay down and count the stars and take turns holding each others nose cos smells still

Hey there was also ducks and other bird like creatures so that is romantic right

Whatever I did not want to have a first date with you anyways

Fine see if I care if you don’t want a ripe slice of this melon

Oh no do not come crawling back to me after all I haven’t done for you

Wow okay that got really out of hands

#noregrets



The other weekend I went to this park

The flowers were awesome

It was like mother nature was flashing me her vajuliano

What a slut



One time this went in my mouth

Prob the best chicken burger I ever ate



One time i got these puma shoes and it came in this cool shoe box

So i kept it and I put random things in it like um string

ZOOM IN YOU CAN SEE ALL KINDS OF WORLDS THINGS AND NEAT STUFF ON THE BOX (Blown)

Also wtfx is a small french stick

Seems racist…

What about small english sticks…

Gangsters gold chains though holllllllaaaaaaa


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