Lets make this crime last forever


CORNDOG DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyy

(Backstory: a local yummy food place only has corndogs on random days and today was the day)

I also may have been driving while I took this

And I may have finished taking the pic and looked to the right and there was a full city bus in the lane beside me watching me do this

THE FUCKS I GAVE WERE NONE

Couldn’t wait to get home had to start chewing….


Fo rayl son’ette

whaaaaaat!?!?!? I NEED TO TRY THIS

___________________________________________________________

Dude you so do
It is prob really easy to make as well
Egg, pancake batter, drizzle it around omg
Tongue is so hard right now
-End Transmission-



One time I ordered this at a place

IT WAS SO GOOD

It’s a pancake with an egg cooked in the middle

This is the stuff human dreams are made of my digital friends

Human

Dreams

Covered in butter and syrup

What a planet eh



Made a roast last weekend

My tongue got so hard posting this

They do have taste-a-net browsers yet but if they did

Yo mouth would be drippin




Look my baby is exposing herself to the world

I bet so many bees are hard right now

Also my camera is trying desperately to focus on the fake flower of the hummingbird feeder

What a jealous bitch



Last but not least

My fav

I present to you the face of constipation

Because nothing says constipation like Asian girl holding glass of water

Cant make this shit up



Here is another one

YA PEOPLE WITH ASTHMA DO NOT RUN

Even I know that

WARNING the above fact about my previous knowledge of asthma on the subject having to do with running may be wildly inaccurate WARNING



These are REAL pamphlets I found in a pharmacy

THAT IS NOT THE FACE OF HEARTBURN

I know its face insert dark brooding theme music



Wow okay sorry for that post………….

IT WAS A REALLY DELICIOUS TIME IN MY MOUTH THOUGH

If it helps I got wet in the mouth from typing the captions

WE ALL SUFFER TOGETHER PALS



YEAH SEE I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. AND I’M P SURE THERE’S FIRE INVOLVED IN THERE SOMEWHERE

oooo gurl you so right there is a FIYAH involved with some of them

BUT some of them operate like an old musket

And you don’t want to stand by a cannon as it splodes

HENCE they use a string to ‘trigger’ it

The more your know

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~star



IM SURE THEY SELL MULTIPLE STYLES OF SHORTS or maybe he has very stubby legs
vakarianprime replied to your post:vakarianprime replied to your photoset:Got me some…
AND YOU DON’T? ???????? PULL A CORD THATS NOT HOE CANONS WORK

OH REALLY JUN?!?!?!?!?

True though maybe you are right

I mean they can not make one image for each separate set of attire

That would be way too costly

I agree with what you are saying and I am glad we talked this out like calm level headed adults YOU BIG BOWL OF DELICIOUS SOUP OF COURSE THEY PULLED A CORD BACK IN THE DAY YOU EVER SEEN A PIRATE SHIP BATTLE READ A DISNEY MOVIE FOR ONCE GEEZ ALSO THEY WOULD NEVER PICK A STUBBY LEG MAN TO SHOOT OUT OF A CANNON THAT IS LIKE PICKING A MIDGET WAIT I THINK THEY DID DO THAT COME TO THINK OF IT YOU MAY BE ONTO SOMETHING


you can’t see his whole leg maybe they end just below the knee

Very sharp of you to notice this jun

Except I am wearing them now and they end ABOVE the knee

You are such a glass half full kind of human though

Maybe I should be more like you and not be so negative about the world and accept that maybe just maybe this clothing company is actually putting things on the tags that are actually quite useful and apt for this modern world we live in THE GUY DOES NOT EVEN HAVE A FUCKING HELMET ON FOR FUCK SAKES AND THE CANON WOULD JUST FALL FORWARD AND WHO PULLED THE STRING I ASK YOU WHO LLLOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME WITH YOUR LEAP OF FUCKING FAITH I HOPE YOU WAKE UP WITH A SMILE ON YOUR ADORABLE CAT LOVING FACE YOU RIPE PIECE OF HUMAN FRUIT YOU



If you have not had this

Do so

I ate it and it was so good I passed out and woke up with that mustache

Now all the girls want me to melt cheese all over their nachos

If you know what I mean

wink wink meow woof ole maracas



Got me some new shorts on friday

JUST IN TIME FOR THE WEEKEND

Not so sure the suggested usage is accurate

But who am I to judge

WAIT A SECOND I JUST NOTICED THE GUY IN THE CANNON IS NOT EVEN WEARING SHORTS

Fuck and these shorts are way too comfortable/nice to boycott

Elongated sigh




bringbackthedinosaurs:

Found this in my laundry room a few days ago

Weirdest vibro/dildo I have ever seen

Nerd. It’s a drying/ curling brush. Hahaha
_______________________________________________________
omg well that is a load off my mind THANKS FRIEND
p.s. I totes knew what it was but simulating my ignorance of female hair power tools to crack a joke about a hummin crotch missile obviously takes priority

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